WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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