Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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