one two three fourrrrnication!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
