why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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