sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
