Small penises have feelings too.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
