didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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