I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
