when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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