It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
