shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
