He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
