Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
