Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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