I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
