She just used a chaser for red wine.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
