I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
