He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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