i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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