Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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