I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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