I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
