omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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