Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
