if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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