Small penises have feelings too.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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