What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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