end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
