How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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