Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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