You're earring is so big in my mouth
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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