Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
