what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize