he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
