And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
