Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
