So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
