Will you blow on my dice?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I am naked and annoyed.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
