I think my vagina is haunted
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
