We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
