Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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