stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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