When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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