I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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