No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
