If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
