Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
