I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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