Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
