Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
