I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
