I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
