I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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