Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
