If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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