I'm really into asian looking animals
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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