Swine flu. Run for my life!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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