Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
