apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
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