um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
