i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
