I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize