around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You are a genius and a whore.
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