This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
