he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
